In the background, there are sounds of breaking crockery, glasses, and bookcases tumbling over in a rare fit of pique.
“I go away for a moment, a moment? What do these two excellent examples of Elf-doom do? The leave. They Leave! It is like I am dealing with children who find out their teacher has feet or something they don’t live in the closet in the back of the classroom in the trees or something. They were there, they were right there, in a Hastur Tower. What do they do? They LEAVE!” More sounds of things crashing about.
“Anyway? Me? I was with Yusef, he had been working on a very interesting lock. I admit I was curious how someone with his supposed skill set could keep breaking lockpicks. Decided I would see what he might do wrong and give him a few pointers, well if I could. Lockpicking is not my forte.”
“The same way investigating something over 1000 years old, filled with wondrous power, knowledge, and who knows what else is beyond the range of thought of people been hailed as Heroes. Perhaps they should be called ‘They Who Run Away.’” More mumblings and the word ‘Hastur,’ grumbled about a few more times.
“Things would not go well for me once the Kobold showed up. As soon as she does, the Yuan-ti bard gets her knickers in a twist and all she can see is ‘Kill the Kobold.’ This has gone so well for her so far. Yeah.” Sounds of a chair scraping and some liquid being poured into a container.
The sound of a sip.
“Oh, yeah, I gave up the pre-text in making this sound like some written history, I have a spell going that copies down my words onto a scroll, I’m thinking of calling it ‘Dragon Speaking Naturally’” -rimshot-
“The Devastating Kobold had set up a trap with 3 Owlbears, now these were not just any Owlbear, no each had its own special twist. One was a Fire Elemental Owlbear, one was a Winged Owlbear, and the last was an Armored Owlbear. Now, where did a Kobold find these aberrations? NO idea. The creature controlled them? A mystery. One of them did wind up running away, and the Kobold tore after it. I am guessing magic confusion. As I mentioned previously I was concentrating on a lock with Yusef.”
“No one died, no big deal.”
“Yes, next we come to the -cough- Hastur Tower. I cannot even speak about it, they walked in, they ran away. In case any of you are curious? No, the other two of the Trio never asked me what this thing was. I am yes, totally, fully, completely blaming them. Let us say in compensation they will experience very interesting dreams during their attempts at Reverie.”
“We come now to ‘The Rescue’ I admit they did, as a group, work well together and they worked well with their allies, Turafin, and Turgon of one of those annoying Wandering Companies. Usually, the Companies are a pain, being all elfish and whatnot. I admit I am not above some elf-flesh in my diet, I though am not of the mindset slavery is a good thing. I am fine, more than fine, with unadulterated worship, I am a Dragon after all and I am worthy of worship. Said worship being forced? It turns my stomach.”
An ahh sound, then a crunching noise.
“Where was I, oh yes Turafin and Turgon. They had several their number kidnapped by Gnoll Slavers, these are disgusting Gnolls. Other Gnolls will have less to do with them even. A disgusting habit of marking their captives with bite marks. Literally, they bite them to mark them as being slaves.” “Disgusting.”
“Worse though, and thankfully the Elves dealt with them were the Chaos Spawn Goblins. These are horrid creatures; the worst part though is they are more powerful than the average goblin you might come across.”
“These Chaos Goblins are obviously working for someone or something else and whatever it is? It is in the need for slaves. Not something I usually poke my snout into, it might though need to have someone examine the details. Perhaps one of those nosy types that live and breathe for this stuff?”
“The Ghoul-Hounds? A dog that eats flesh is there? You can call it a hound, a wolf, a ghoul companion? I don’t really care. I have no truck with the undead that deals with ghouls.” A moment of complete silence. “Don’t look at me that way, nor judge me, until you have walked a mile in my talons.”
‘Cough “As I was saying ‘Those That Run Away’ made a good plan, did a divide and conquer and they rescued all but one elf. Am I blaming the Barbarian? One of the Three Caballeros? Did I lose my sword in the razor wire? I noticed that the Yuan-ti bard well used her spells, that was different, the spells actually worked for a change. Why the Ranger didn’t use his ‘Thorn’ spell is beyond me though.”
“Someone should mention about the Troll in armor, someone created a lot of trouble to put a troll in armor that protected the creature from fire and heat. That was foresight, it almost sounds Dragon intelligent. Maybe Drow, those little Underdark bastards are crafty.”
“The Bone Golem? I do not understand what that was or who created it. Things like that annoy me since they are so well protected from spells and everything else. You need special magic to get rid of things like that and well I truly don’t have the time to deal with something like that.”
A loud gulp.
“Yes, the end. They saved all but one elf, along with the two children Jerin and Midalynn. What the group of Runaways will do with them is anyone’s guess. I? Myself? I will look at Yusef’s lock and see if I can determine where he went wrong. Puzzles.”